Pam: I’m going with him.
Jim: What? Pam!
Pam: I’m going.
Jim: Pam! You can’t be serious.
Pam: Michael, wait! I’m coming with you.
Michael: You are?
Pam: Yeah.
Michael: Okay. It’s going to be great.
Pam: Great. Uh, except, I don’t want to be a receptionist anymore.
Michael: Right… Executive assistant.
Pam: Salesman.

Salesman. Pam was tired of her life as a receptionist. She wanted change, so she joins Michael to start a new paper company. As viewers know, Michael is destined to fail. Pam probably realizes this too. But she sees a sliver of hope. And that bit of hope was a future where she wasn’t a receptionist.

Pam eventually becomes a saleswoman. But this was one of the first times that she had a chance to break away from life as a receptionist. Even viewers of the show were used to her as a receptionist. But Pam never really liked being one. Earlier in the series, she even tried going to art school to chase her dreams. That didn’t work out though.

Anyways, her old life was safe, and the new one not so safe. But like many things in life, you have to take a chance. You can’t always stay with what’s safe or you may never even leave home. You may never end up where you really belong.

Pam took a chance. And Pam teaches us that sometimes, you need to take that chance. Yes, it’s scary because we’re not sure what will happen. It wouldn’t be called a “chance” if it was guaranteed.

But sometimes you fall. In the next episode, we see where Pam’s decision led her:

Pam: I can’t do this.
Michael: What’s that?
Pam: I can’t do this. I had a real job. I sat ten feet away from my fiance. I had health benefits. I was just feeling impulsive. I should have gotten a tiny tattoo on my ankle.
Michael: Blech.
Pam: I just keep getting bored. And I let things build up and build up and then I – I, I do something too big, like this. Who does this?

This is one of my favorite moments in the Office because Pam is an example of how everyone with a boring (but safe) job feels. Is your job that way? Do you let it bottle up like that?

People get comfortable with their lives. They settle into them. It’s hard to figure out if what you’re doing is the right thing if you’re comfortable doing it. Why? Because any change—good or bad—will push you out of your comfort zone. It’s even harder if your standard of living demands that you stay in your current job. You’ve created a box for yourself.

Pam says that she should have just gotten a tattoo instead. That’s a funny line because nothing is farther from the truth. If you had to pick between getting a tattoo and chasing a dream, what would you pick?

Of course, Michael hits a home run with his response:

Pam: How come out of everyone in the office, I’m the only one that went with you? Is it because I’m that stupid? I mean, your own grandmother doesn’t even believe in you!
Michael: I want you to listen to me. Because I want to tell you the situation that we are both in right now, kay? You quit your job. I quit my job. We both quit. Those are the facts. That’s what happened. Now, what are our choices right now? Because you know, kiddo, you quit.
Pam: Yeah.
Michael: So what are our options? Well, we can start this paper company. We can try. Or… that’s it. That’s our only option. Because we quit. Pam, I do my best work when people don’t believe in me. I remember in high school, my math teacher told me I was gonna flunk out. And know what I did? The very next day I went out and I scored more goals than anyone else in the history of the hockey team. See what I mean? I thrive on this. I thrive on it. So I’m gonna go inside. I’m going to make some calls, I’m gonna get us an office space, and I’m going to show you why you joined this company. Okay? [Pam nods]

At the end of the day, it didn’t matter whether she succeeded or failed. She went after what she wanted. Even if she did fail, she would never have to ask “what if?”.

The internet is doing me in. Instead of being able to focus on one thing for a long time, I need about 10 things to keep me engaged. Now, I’m trying to reverse the effects, but it’s harder than I thought it would be.

What’s the problem here? Here’s how I see it: the internet has massive amounts of information, and when you surf, your brain has to take in all that information. Over time, your brain becomes used to the flurry of information and learns to expect it. When you finally decide to sit down and focus on something, you can’t. Your brain isn’t satisfied. It’s bored. Then, it mentally flips through channels to find something more interesting.

This drives me nuts.

See, most skilled jobs require some degree of concentration. So losing the ability to focus is a huge problem. Nobody really multitasks like everyone says. If you think you multitask, you’re really only rapidly refocusing. Some days, it’s even hard to read a few pages of a book. Where did my brain go?

The brain isn’t a static beast. It can change over time. It adapts, which is a testament to its power. But if you treat it like crap, you’re going to get back crap.

So how can I fix my brain’s attention span? How can you fix yours?

First, I’m trying to change the way that I use the internet. I use it serially instead of in parallel. In other words, I do one thing at a time, and I don’t move on until I’m done with it. Second, I turn off the internet when I don’t need it. I don’t leave email open, and I try to avoid instant messaging if I can. Why? Imagine sitting in a room concentrating on one task when someone repeatedly barges in to interrupt your concentration. The interruptions of the internet are no different. That’s the status quo when you’re perpetually connected to the internet. Finally, I try to rebuild my focus by doing one thing (and only one thing) for at least 30 minutes to an hour. Over time, I’m hoping that I’ll regain the ability to focus on one thing at a time.

And yes, it will take time. I’m not sure that I’ll ever get there, but that won’t stop me from trying.

“‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free
‘Tis the gift to come down, where we ought to be.
And if we find ourselves in the place just right
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.”

In other words, life is better when it’s simple. But how do you apply it to modern life?

‘Tis the Gift

Simplicity

My life is less stressful when I have less going on. Think of a really busy week where your schedule is packed with a billion things from 7am to 10pm. Then think of a week that’s practically empty, or even one where you’re focused on one goal for the whole week. Which schedule do you like more? If you’re like me, you value free time and less stress. I find that I focus better when I’m not busy.

Life doesn’t lend itself to focusing on one thing at a time. Bills need to be paid. Relationships need to be maintained. Life goes on. When you get the chance to live a simple week, treat it like a gift.

Where We Ought to Be

Simplicity is a gift because it helps us focus on the important. I spoke with my sister this past week. Most graduates from her school were worried about finding a job and thinking about how to pay off their student debt – all valid concerns. She also learned that a fellow classmate died this week. A drunk driver hit her while she was walking.

News like that makes me realize that some worries aren’t worth worrying about.

Where will you be in the next 5 or 10 years? Will you be pursuing your passions? Will you even know what your passions are?

Nobody wants to die. But some of us still refuse to live. We walk through life aimlessly, expecting school or friends or parents to tell us our reason for living. But we never ask the person that matters most: ourselves.

Ask yourself, why do I do what I do? If you don’t know, then stop and figure it out.

The Gift to Be Free

Simplicity in what we own is also a gift. Hear me out.

When I was in middle school, my history teacher told us that he used to be able to fit everything he owned his pickup truck. He had the freedom to move whenever he wanted. He could literally throw all his junk in his trunk and go. Wouldn’t that be nice?

I’ve got a confession: I buy a lot of things that I don’t need. Last week, I bought 2 wireless keyboards. I didn’t need them, but they were cheap. I’m a sucker for cheap stuff, so I have a lot of clutter that I don’t need. I’ve become better at giving away or tossing useless junk, but some habits don’t die.

Wouldn’t it be great to have nothing but the essentials? You would never be overwhelmed with clutter, and you would get maximum use out of what you own. You could spend less time cleaning, and you would fully appreciate your stuff.

I recently moved from North Carolina to Ohio. I didn’t rent a moving van because the rental would cost more than the value of my big stuff. Instead, I shipped a few boxes of books and packed the rest into my sedan. It wasn’t easy to go through my junk and decide what to keep and what to throw away, but I managed to get it done. I simplified the clutter in my life.

It felt great to know that I only had a car-load of stuff to worry about. Maybe the next time you move, you can try to simplify your stuff too. Heck, why wait? Do it now.

Love and Delight

So what makes you happy? Think of your most happy memories in life. Is there a common theme? What about your unhappy times? Is there something underlying those moments too?

Our bodies and minds are organic. They change and adapt to all sorts of conditions, but we also have emotional memory. So the same things that made us happy in the past can continue to make us happy in the future. The same goes for unhappy memories.

Find one thing in your life that makes you unhappy. Maybe you’re involved in something you don’t care about – you’re doing it because you feel obligated. Maybe you’re in an unhealthy relationship with someone. Then, do everything you can to get rid of that source of unhappiness.

On the flip side, what makes you happy? What gives you joy? Not just pleasure, but real joy. Do you find that you’re too busy to do what makes you really happy? Doesn’t that seem wrong? Since you’ve also eliminated one unhappy thing in your life, you should have more time to do the things that bring you joy.

By doing this, you actively simplify and focus your life. And you’ll eventually find yourself in the valley of “love and delight.”

Fun Weekend

second chances

Wisconsin to Michigan is about a 7.5 hour drive. The traffic around Chicago was awful, but being able to see her was worth it. There’s a loop around Chicago that backs up pretty badly. I tried to avoid it, but I lost about an hour by sitting in traffic.

Eventually, I made it to Michigan. We had a lot of fun. We went to an art fair and ate freshly fried ribbon potato chips, topped with cheese and bacon, and washed down with fresh squeezed lemonade. Delicious. And the local art was fun to browse too.

But like all weekends, it came to an end, and I started my long drive back to Wisconsin. I left around 3pm so I could make it home by about 10pm. I packed a mug of coffee and some snacks to help me get home. I kissed my girlfriend sadly and said goodbye, and I was on my way.

The Drive Back

Michigan is a boring state to drive through, but it made for easy driving. I also didn’t have much trouble in Chicago. I would be home in time to get a good night’s sleep for work the next day.

Once it started getting dark, I stopped at a gas station to fill up gas. I popped inside and picked up a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew. I grabbed some gum too. With a few more hours to go, I would need energy.

So I continued my drive. I eventually hit Wisconsin, which was a relief. Once you reach Wisconsin, it’s only about an hour or so until you get to Madison, where I lived. It was darker, but I could still see outlines of the scenery. Rolling green hills hugged the earth, and patches of trees clung to the hills.

I was still tired though, and I missed my girlfriend, so I gave her a quick call on my cell phone. At this point, home was about 45 minutes away. We talked the way we normally talked. Being a cautious driver, I moved to the right lane to let faster traffic pass me. I wasn’t in a hurry to get home.

During the conversation, she said something, but the poor reception cut her off. My phone dropped the call, and I couldn’t hear her. I said “hello? hello?” I looked down at the phone.

A loud “boom” smacked my ears. Along with the “boom” was the force of a battering ram against my back. The phone flew out of my hand, and my hands gripped the steering wheel. My elbows locked, and the muscles in my neck clenched.

Something had happened.

I shouted “oh my God” over and over. Frankly, I’m impressed that I was able to speak a coherent phrase. After impact, my car spinned wildly. My wheels and I were both screaming. I can still smell the rubber. The experience was surreal. At the time, I didn’t feel like I was the person in the accident. My life didn’t flash before my eyes, but I felt a strange separation from the body of the individual in my car. I felt like an observer. It was physics – and nothing that I did – that would determine my fate. At least for a moment, though, I did wonder whether this could be the end.

My car stopped against a concrete rail. I looked in my rear view mirror, and the headlights behind me were staring me down. I felt naked, but the worst was over. My phone had fallen into the passenger foot area, so I grabbed it and dialed 911 – my kindergarten teacher would be proud.

An ambulance eventually came, along with some off duty officers to help direct traffic. The paramedic asked if I was okay. I said “I think so.” He said, “is your engine still on? Turn it off for God’s sake.” I turned it off. Then I scooted over to the passenger side to get out because the concrete wall blocked the driver’s side door. My legs were weak, but I stood up to look around.

Leaning against one black car were two Mexican men – also victims in the accident. They seemed okay and not too rattled. In another car, there were people inside. They were alive, but bloody. The emergency crew carried them away in a stretcher. The two Mexican men came over and told me that the guy in the red car was the one to blame. He was driving almost a hundred miles an hour when he hit me. And when the two men approached the car to see if everyone was okay, the guy in the red car asked for a cigarette and reeked of alcohol.

The police gave me some paperwork to fill out, and a tow truck driver came to haul away my car’s carcass. He asked me if I needed a lift home, and I said “yes.”

Going Back Home

The driver of the tow truck didn’t say much. I told him that this was my first major accident, almost as if I was wearing it like a badge of honor. He wasn’t impressed. He said that his friends and him go out on weekends and crash cars for fun. What a lunatic.

I eventually made it back home, and thanked the driver for the lift back. He said “goodbye” and drove away with my wrecked car. Compared to the commotion of the evening, my parking lot was deathly quiet, and my mind could finally breathe. I exhaled and broke down. I was over a 1000 miles from home, and I escaped death just 30 minutes earlier. The evening moved faster than my mind, and everything caught up to me in the parking lot of my apartment complex. My mind’s reaction was to cry like a baby.

I called everyone to let them know I was okay. When I finally made it to bed, I left the lights on. The memory of the accident played repeatedly in my mind.

It took a few months to get over everything. I was deathly afraid of driving (especially at night) for several months. Come to think of it, I was afraid of everything for a while. The accident really shook me up.

Second Chances

I don’t know that I’ve ever told the entire story of my car accident to anyone, but that was it. Now it’s a memory in the past.

I can’t say that I’m a completely different person now, but death can be a fantastic motivational tool. I don’t talk on the cell phone while I drive, and I refuse to get sleepy behind the wheel of a car. My rear view mirror gets a lot more attention now.

More importantly, I realize that anyone’s life can end at any time. Sometimes it’s because of things that we can control, and sometimes it’s not. Usually it’s not. Nobody wants to die. Even people that commit suicide probably realize it’s a mistake once they set everything in motion.

Point is, don’t take any of the time that you’re given for granted because the time that you get is all that you’re ever going to get. You might even get less than you expect. And if you’re lucky like me, then you get a little more

“Life may change us, but we begin and end with family.”

A nap in the afternoon is followed by lazy reading into dinner time. The day stands still while I let my brain idle. In the evening I pick up my pace and get a few things done, but overall, I don’t oblige myself to do much.

Lazy Summer

I spent the past few months studying for the bar exam. I learned a lot of information while putting the rest of my life on hold – academic servitude to the master named “Bar Exam.”

I have never retained such a large vat of information at once. And now that the exam is over, I can crack open the escape valve of my head and let it slowly seep out. I won’t need any of it in the future – I hope. In the meantime, my mind and body have been idling, waiting to face the next big task.

Not everyone’s brain can go a mile a minute for so long. Two months is my limit. Take note of the limits of your body and mind, and when you hit it, slam on the breaks and give your engine a rest because you’ll need it for the next big journey.

I’m always amazed when I think about the accomplishments of previous generations – you know, the ones that didn’t have a computer. How did they do it? And what can we learn from them?

When I read technology blogs, productivity gadgets pique my interest. Blackberries perpetually connect us as constant communication is now a requirement for many jobs. I used to laugh at doctors with their pagers. Now, I’d rather be the one with the pager instead of an email-enabled leash.

Phones can edit and view documents, ensuring that not one minute of time is wasted. If only we could use electronic devices during take-off and landing, we could fully maximize our time.

Mission Control at Nasa

Or could we?

I love computers. Heck, Apollo 11 didn’t have as much computing power as my living room. But you know what? Those guys made it to the moon. Some days, I don’t even make it outside. We can learn a lot from the generations before us, without fancy gadgets and computers, making possible the impossible.

Many prolific writers still pound out first drafts on a typewriter.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. moved an entire nation without access to the blogosphere or YouTube.

Einstein didn’t have a MacBook Pro.

Sure, some technology is necessary, as a matter of formality. Some schools require laptops for all incoming students. But we should never be trapped in the mindset that limited technology means limited potential. Da Vinci would agree.

The human mind is powerful. And it’s powerful without the aid of a computer. Use technology to enhance what you can already accomplish. But don’t use technology as an excuse for not getting something done.

Look to the past and find inspiration – Gandhi, King Jr., Michelangelo, Gauss, and Jefferson. See how much they accomplished with so little. In the internet age, we have so many tools that they didn’t have. There is no reason that we cannot achieve equally impressive feats.